As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
