My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
