I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
