if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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