she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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