dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
