youre lurking in front of me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
