she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
