Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
