I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're a waste of cheezeits
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
