That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
