There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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