The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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