I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
