He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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