I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
