he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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