Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
