I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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