just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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