i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
