dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
