Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
