Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
