i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
