If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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