Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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