Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think i have herpe
just one?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
