Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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