She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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