wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the condom got lost in my hair
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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