so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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