so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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