Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
