You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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