Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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