Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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