Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
