Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Randomize
