Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
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We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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