hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize