I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ugly people sure do ruin things
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
