I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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