can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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