i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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