Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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