I think i peed on brittanys purse
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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