Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
