I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
