I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
