I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
