We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
