I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My balls are so social today.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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