Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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