So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
