At least make sure they are 18
Why
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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