It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
