I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
