You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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